we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
