I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
