Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
