I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
