officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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