i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize