he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
