This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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