She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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