I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
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