either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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