Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
