tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
