You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i think im in europe. pls send help
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
