Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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