I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
