He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize