omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
