Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
