He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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