I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
how does that bad decision feel?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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