oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
