She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
