I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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