I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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