Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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