mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
