is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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