Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize