How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize