I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize