If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
