im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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