Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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