Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
