hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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