I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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