Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
