I want to walk on stilts...naked
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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