I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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