How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm always down for nudity.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
