im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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