I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
