I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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