that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
