i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm both gender and math confused
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
