I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
