I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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