Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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