he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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