i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
