Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize