sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
