took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
