giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
