so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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