you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
