made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
