Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
