help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
