I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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