The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize