I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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