They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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