yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
