My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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