the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize