She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
