Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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