You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize