the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
