my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
