Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
