All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
