My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
