I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
