i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
What a dumb baby whore.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize