I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
