Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
