so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
