Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize