New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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